Blame does not serve you, or the other.
As we grow in this lifetime, each moment reveals to us what it is we most need to see, hear or feel to bring us to a new level of understanding. For many of us, including myself, placing the emphasis on what is happening ‘to us’ can really make us feel out of alignment. The feelings of blame, judgement, anger and resentment will all arise either about the other person, or people, and often also about ourselves.
Here’s the thing though…its always about us, how we are reacting, how we are feeling, how we are interpreting what the current situation is. NOT what the other person is doing or may have done. And we have a choice in every moment to change how we are interpreting that.
A few events just recently, all happening within the same day, saw me full of blame, regret, anger and hurt. It was ALL about the other people involved and it was ALL a story of being a victim to it in my mind. Fortunately these days I work through it and let it go quickly but I remember a time when I would have held on to these negative feelings for many days, sometimes years!
So how did I let it go so quickly and whats the number one question you need to ask yourself to clear this energy and be in a loving energy space again?
‘HOW CAN I BE BETTER in this situation?’
The ability to let it go comes entirely on your perspective of the situation or event.
You MUST ask better questions…questions about yourself…not questions that involve blame for the other person.
- How can I be a better friend?
- How can I be a better neighbour?
- How can I be a better partner?
- How can I be more reliable?
- How can I be more trustworthy?
- How can I be more loving?
- How can I be more open?
- How can I be more truthful and increase my integrity?
- How can I be more forgiving?
- How can I be a better person here, in this moment?
Its not always an easy thing to do but believe me, when you can take total responsibility for the feelings you are feeling, and the events that are playing out in your external world, the sense of peace and calm that ensue are incredible.
I have heard this a lot over the past years and to be honest I never really, truly ‘got it’ until recently. And now that I understand it, I know that if this understanding had been present earlier in my life, many things would have been different, including my marriages. I also now know that this was also perfect and in divine timing and there never needs to be the ‘should haves’ or ‘maybe if’s’ about anything in our lives.
My experience has enabled me to have the words now to reach out and share with you, to make a difference in your world and how you are reacting to your external circumstances. Transformation comes when your perception changes.
Once the blame, anger and pointing the finger have ceased, and the questions come from a place of love…for yourself…everything changes.
What happens in life is never ‘to us’, it is always ‘for us’ and to adopt that mindset, ask the better questions and then grow from the experience is what will transform our lives and will bring us back home…to our truth…to our heart…to love.
Letting go of negative feelings is a gift to your self.
Honouring yourself enough to let it go. Loving yourself enough to not want to have that hurt anymore.
Knowing that if you take care of yourself, and really care about clearing the path to greater love and happiness in your life that asking the question ‘How can I be better in this situation’ will be magical.
Be gentle on yourself, and others. We are all here doing the bet we can with what we currently know. Ask better questions, love yourself enough to care about ow you are feeling and to stay in the feeling of love. joy and happiness as often as possible.
It IS a choice and it will change the way you see the world, and yourself.