Comparison Can Paralyze
Many years ago, when my career was in the Nail Industry, I had a lot of success with the first business I opened. The staff and I were all winning at the Australian competitions and our salon was the busiest in the area, possibly the city, at the time. I was teaching, working, judging and organizing competitions and generally having a great time. Along with also getting married, having a baby and getting on with life personally too.
I look back at that time and I remember I was fearless in most aspects of growing the business, in taking on new challenges in the Industry and in being the best I could be in all areas.
These days, I feel I’m not as fearless as I was back then.
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I’ve asked myself why and have come to this conclusion.
All those years ago, I was in a bubble of sorts. There was no social media. There was only real life that I experienced daily. There was only what was in front of me.
Yes, there were others in the Industry that may have been doing better than me. Yes, there were definitely people more talented. Yes there were definitely businesses doing way better too.
It didn’t seem to bother me though. I just did my thing and endeavoured to grow as best I could. I love winning and found the competitions enthralling and exciting and they certainly pushed me to be better.
I have discovered that I am now sometimes hesitant to be who I want to be in the world. To bring the message to life that I know I am here to bring.
For me, I was comparing.
Why would anyone want to see or hear what I have to offer when there are so many others out there doing the same and often doing it better and in a far more advanced way?
Why would anyone want to work with me when there were so many people out there better than me intellectually, spiritually and physically?
It got me stuck, paralyzed.
I thought I was moving forward but really what I was doing was treading water. Sabotaging myself so that I didn’t have to push myself past the boundaries of growth…
When I realized that we are all here with something to contribute to the world and its people, I adopted a new, better mindset and I feel now that I am back to the more fearless side of me that was present all those years ago.
Here is something I’d like you to truly know within yourself:
We all have an audience that is waiting for our message.
I’ll repeat that…
We ALL have an audience that are waiting for OUR message.
Whether your message is a friendly loving smile, or it is a globally changing idea- the truth of this still applies.
Just as there are people who feel their skills are not as good as others and hold themselves back from sharing them, there are people who believe they are not good enough to even smile at another human.
Imagine if that was THE smile that could change the life or day of that other person?
Imagine if the way you deliver YOUR skill was the breakthrough that someone needed to realize their own skills?
We all have been given our own unique ways, our unique talents and our unique energy in the world.
Now, rather than comparing myself with all the amazing people who are absolutely miles ahead of me in business, spiritual development, physical discipline and anything I can find to compare! Lol I remember that the people who are waiting for the message I have, maybe wont hear it from any other source. They may listen, but not hear.
The unique way I explain, describe, work, talk, emit energy, love, feel, write, draw etc are what will catch the attention of the audience that are looking for it.
Every idea we have, every inspired thought, every dream, would not have been given or shown to us if we were not capable of achieving it.
Also, another interesting thought that really helped me move forward is that the ideas, creations, work, messages, gifts etc come to us because someone has asked. This is one of the ways manifesting and creation work. Someone sends out a rocket of desire and the person who can deliver that desire- does. Or at least gets the idea or desire themselves to create this thing that someone has asked for.
Let me give you an example.
When I was writing my first book,( in fact, this happened also when I wrote my first blog!) I thought- who will want to read this! Everyone knows this stuff!
I guess it really was a case of me not being in touch with my self worth and value but I really was very nervous putting myself out there like that, to be open to criticism, with the words I was writing and the advice I was offering.
Then I realized that I would not have had the idea or drive to write and publish this book if there wasn’t someone out there that was asking for this exact information! Their rocket of desire went out- I received an inspired thought and acted on it.
Action, by the way, is something that not everyone takes on their inspired ideas therefore what usually happens is that a whole heap of people will get the same idea- only a few will act.
Now, this fear and comparing did rise up in me again just recently. My shift into what I love to do and who I love to be- which is in the spiritual world – brought up a lot of insecurities and the people who appeared in front of me where so experienced and talented in what they did that I started to shrink again.
It only lasted a few moments though because I remembered that it didn’t really matter. I was where I was. There were more experienced, there were less experienced. The important thing was – we ALL had a perfect audience.
So I totally admire and learn from the amazing people in my life and I encourage you to do the same. Comparing will keep you stuck, paralysed.
Social Media is a big pool of all types of people and if you choose to get caught up in what you feel you CANT do because of all the people you see who CAN do- then be kind to yourself and do this exercise:
Take out a piece of paper and title it:
Things I like about me
Then, list 100 things you like about yourself, what you are good at, what you have accomplished etc.
I think you will find this exercise great at showing you there is no need to compare.
You are you. You are magnificent. You are unique. We need YOU to be you. There are people asking for the gifts you bring.
Do what you CAN do, and do it well, do it with Love and do it with good intentions. Keep learning and growing.
Self Love, self worth and valueing ourselves is important and the lack of these can stand in the way, as it has done for me. If this is the case for you and you are ready to be the best you, the most authentic you and the you that deep down you know you already are, then lets get together and have a quick chat. Maybe I can help you.
In this podcast I have included a 5 minute meditation. Please listen to the audio or the podcast at iTunes and enjoy it 🙂
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