The Fear of Decision
Which do you feel is the most challenging…making a decision to change something or the actual change?
After nearly 30 years in my career in the Nail Industry and being face to face with thousands of women, decision making and the follow through is a fabulous discussion to be having.
From my experience, the decisions are the most difficult.
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In my own personal life I believe this has been the truth for me too.
Many of my clients would talk with me about their lives, their marriages, their careers or jobs, and would be deeply wanting change. What stood out in the conversations though were the fears of what might happen. The fear of how they would cope with the change. How they would cope with a marriage breakup. How they would manage to begin a new career. How they would be challenged in their new situation.
Here is what I always said to them:
The DECISION is ALWAYS the hardest thing. Everything after that is easy. Then I would ask: Whats holding you back from this decision?
The fears would come up. The past bad memories would surface. The actual change appears as the difficult element. But it’s the decision that is the most difficult element.
Of course, at the time it doesn’t seem that way does it!
I know from personal experience in many many situations where I changed my life dramatically, from job changes, career changes, marriage and divorce, more than once! And also the release and change from some dangerous situations involving drugs and a low ego and self worth.
Once the decision is made, everything falls into place. Is the change easy? Rarely. But staying in the space and making NO decision is harder!
So, why is the actual decision to change something or to move on from a situation we are in, so difficult for so many of us?
I believe it is the fears and stories we hold on to from the past experiences we have had as well as the future ones we are projecting. It is the fearful advice from another that we choose to believe. It is the ‘stuckness’ that grows by feeding it the fear and the stories.
We cannot say for sure what will happen in the next moment. We can never know exactly what will happen in the future.
We can however influence each moment with the energy we are. In other words, if we are fearful about a situation or change, then that truth will come true for us.
Our thoughts create our reality.
Once we can have total conviction for a decision we want/wish or need to make, then make that decision, then that’s it…the hard part Is over.
Yes, there will be challenges along the path of change.
Yes, there will be tough days.
No, it wont be all sunshine and roses but heres the thing..
We are always guided on this journey of ours called human life. We can listen to the guidance or we can struggle. Whenever we feel out of alignment, it is because our soul is letting us know we are not being true to ourselves. We are not living from the Truth inside us. This misalignment creates anxiety, stress, sadness, struggle, depression, anger, despair, hopelessness. Often we just keep getting on with things and ignore it but eventually we will see that there is a better path, a better way. A truth we will find the courage to live.
When the decision takes a long time to make, quite often it is more painful and fearful for us to stay where we are than to take the leap of faith and move forward!
It often gets to a point where we say: Enough is enough!
Then, it becomes a little easier to make the decision for the change. Then after that, everything flows because the fear is gone.
But why do we so often wait for the pain to be so great? The fear…the fear…
Now, there are easy decisions we make daily that are not really relevant here. Im talking today about big life changing decisions, although there are those in the world that have a tough time making the everyday decisions too!
Im talking career change, job change, divorce, relationship breakup, following your passion, moving country etc. The big stuff that feels uncomfortable!
Believe me when I say that once the decision is made, the fear will dissipate. In fact, you may well say, even the day after, why did that take me so long!!
Change, evolution, creation are all a part of our journey here but we really are just here to be who we truly are. To remember the Love energy, the source energy, the God energy that flows through us and connects us to all and everything and everybody.
Change involves decisions. Life has a way of guiding us to where we need to be, to remember who we are. The faster we can feel the times when we are out of alignment, and make the decision to get back IN to alignment, the less the fear and pain will be. This comes from practice, this comes from a clear mind, this comes from trust and it come from being in touch with your feelings.
Remember, any fear we have is either a rememberance of a painful emotion from the past OR a projection of an imagined painful emotion into the future. It is not real in this moment, even though it FEELs so real. Right now, in this moment, is that fear really true? Can you be really sure that the fear is real?
Heres what I know for sure…the decision for change will be the hardest part.
Put your fears aside for the moment it takes to make the decision you know you need to make.
Our own happiness is up to us. Its our own responsibility.
And a decision to stay in alignment with our truth does not always involve leaving our current circumstance either by the way. Change can take place within ourselves and then reflect in the outside.
These are my thoughts on decision but Id love to hear yours too! Leave a comment below if you are reading this blog or message me over at the fb page at TrishRock-YourEvolution Mentor
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