Love: YOUR own unique way

Love of self, and accepting that of others, has been the greatest and most challenging quest for me so far this lifetime. It may have at times seemed like the other challenges and adversities I have overcome far outweigh this one but here’s the thing- Self Love, or the absence of it, and the allowance of Love was at the root of ALL the other challenges.

Attempting to have control over how others love us simply pushes them away, which is the total opposite of what we may be wanting.

In my case, I was fearful of being so deeply hurt again that I thought by controlling how someone loved me I could avoid the pain again.


‘I will only Love you back if you Love me in this way.’

Often we don’t even know we are doing it. It can be so subtle.

This was certainly the case for me and I now know this to be true:

Every human is unique and the way they express and show love is unique.

If we can accept this and feel the Love without the conditions, we open ourselves up to the greatest Love, the greatest experience, the UNCONDITIONAL Love that creates miracles and magic.

Where and how do we start to experience and live unconditional Love?

Love ourselves first.

Self Love, unconditionally, is the ONLY way to experience who we truly are, the Love Energy that flows through us, source, creator, God.

  • Accepting everything that we are, right now.
  • Loving what we see in the mirror, right now.
  • Celebrating every morning we awake to a new day.
  • Dropping the judgment and criticism we place on ourselves.
  • Respecting and honouring our own feelings.
  • Respecting and honouring ourselves first,.
  • Living honestly, true to ourselves, in line with OUR OWN values.

Expecting others to do, say, act, behave or Love in a certain way, in a conditional way, will not bring the love we seek.

The Love we seek is within and to have this unconditional Love for ourselves is the first step in allowing others to also BE.

Conditional love, or those who will give that to us, may come along our path and often people live this way for their entire lifetime, not knowing anything different. They may like the control, as it saves them from having to look within. It may be their contract here in this lifetime to BE this way, and as such, there is nothing wrong with that (never any rights or wrongs…only our perceptions of them)

It may also be the case, as in my experience, that the people we call into our lives will not give this ‘conditional’ love to us. Not for very long anyway.

In my personal relationships for example, it seemed no matter how much I loved a person, I felt it didn’t come back to me. The truth was it WAS coming back to me but not in the way I expected and demanded. The relationship would break down and end.

What was really happening  was that these souls that I had called in to my life were not prepared to love on MY terms… conditionally. They showed me that I had to lose the control I needed to feel safe, to avoid hurt, to avoid pain. I had to allow them to love… their way. allow Love

Its been a long lesson for me that I could have learnt before the age of 15 but hey, the greatest lessons allow us to be better, master teachers to serve others who may be experiencing the same.

My biggest message here is this:

Love yourself for who you are right now- ALL of you, EVERYTHING about you.

Allow others to express their love in their own way.

Love, without any conditions or rules, for yourself and others.

I have abundant gratitude for all who have shown up to teach me this. May we all serve each other by allowing, accepting and loving in the most perfect way- our way.

Awareness is the key.

  • What ‘conditions’ are you setting for yourself?
  • What ‘conditions’ are you setting for others?

Wouldnt it be the greatest act of Love if we accepted ourselves and others, right now, just the way we are showing up right now?

Love xo