Sound a bit dramatic?
Contrast Cures Crying
Yes, could be, but this is a short story on how feeling, and knowing, the contrast in life may actually STOP the drama and the tears that fall unnecessarily.
Today, as my mind wandered onto a topic that brought up some sensitive emotions, I had the most wonderful experience of ‘changing my mind’ about it almost immediately. This was a big moment for me, and even more so due to the fact I was actually consciously aware of what was happening!
Do you ever find yourself blaming others for your circumstance? How about the way you are feeling? Is it always the others person fault, in your eyes, that things have not worked out the way you were planning?
Most of my life I have been a victim to circumstance. Yes, I can admit it now but up until a few years ago I was still in the blame game, never taking responsibility for my own life, expecting others to make me happy and worst of all, being angry at others because they weren’t meeting my expectations of how the story should play out
Mostly we dont even know we are in this game! I remember distinctly when I finally got it! I was in Thailand at an event and was most annoyed with something that had happened with someone there. I was whining about it one night while we were all out. I got a few suggestions on how to solve the situation but continued the ‘drama’ and kept on whining (didnt see myself in that way then either by the way! But remembering it now I was a real pain in the backside!) until suddenly one of the women said: “I choose to not be around you anymore while you choose to continue being a victim”…and she walked off, much to my horror! BUT that wasnt the worst! Then, the other 3 women there ALSO walked off, leaving me standing there by myself, feeling very hurt, stunned and confused as to what just happened!
Needless to say it was the best thing that happened on that trip and I will always be grateful for those women. They showed me how little control I had in my life. They showed me the ‘victim’ mentality that I never knew I had!
Since then, the learning has been focused quite a bit in this area and today, I was so proud of how far I have come since that horrid night in Thailand!
So how do things change? How is it possible to step out of the blame game, the victim mindset, the ‘drama’ and actually create a life that flows and is in alignment?
It begins with changing your mind.
I’l give you 2 examples of how my mind was instantly changed today, producing different emotions and leaving me without the tears that would normally may have come.
Its all about contrast. When we can see that nothing is missing, then the love in our heart can shine through over the fear and hurt that we may have been feeling.
Thinking about this past couple of years today, I was feeling sorry for myself that the relationships I have had havent worked out. I was asking “When will someone come along that will stay, be ready, and never want to lose me?” Of course all the worthiness issues came into play here too but before I could even GET into that rabbit hole, here was my next questions “Have I left someone before who wanted me to stay? The answer of course was yes. And when I thought about those situations my emotions totally changed.
Firstly, it took my focus off the ‘poor me’ that was emerging (she has just about left the building!) and secondly, it helped ‘change my mind‘ on the topic.
The Universe has its own unique way of sorting things out and of course when we look back we can see that if those certain events or steps didnt take place, we would not be the person we are today. So gratitude is in order, rather than regret or hurt.
Have you ever felt unappreciated?
I was also thinking today about not feeling appreciated by particular people (yes…having another ‘poor me’ moment! Ugh!). THEN I thought about all the people who DO appreciate me. If I stopped expecting certain actions or feelings from people and just remembered that what I desire IS there, through another channel, then it takes on a whole new feeling in the body. No ‘thing’ missing.
If I had known this when I was married, the whole story may have been different!
So here are the main points to highlight so that they may help you to ‘change your mind’ in a moment:
1. The Universe is wise and will take you where you need to be, even though it may not seem so at the time, so be grateful, be trusting, be patient and most of all...just BE…in the flow
2. You CAN change your mind about how you feel about something, its a choice
3. Whatever it is you desire more of, GIVE it first. Whether it be appreciation, kindness, love, abundance, trust, friendship or anything you feel you want more of.
4. Choosing to play the blame game will keep you in the blame game. Step up and take responsibility for how you react, how you feel, how you see things and how you act. It is never about the other person. Other people cannot MAKE you feel a certain way. Thats always your choice.
5. Feel gratitude in every situation, whether positive or negative, because trust and faith in a bigger picture than is visible to us at the time will empower and bring deep happiness from within.
When you can truly see the contrast and equal opposite in every situation, and know that it is ok, everything changes.
It truly is freeing to be in charge of every moment. You know, the energy it takes to be mad at someone, or resentful, or hurt, or upset, is really not worth wasting that way. Use your energy to create joyful moments. Use your energy to help others create joy. Use your energy to send love to the people in your life. Now THAT will make a profound difference, to them…and you.