Purveyor Of Love
Its 11pm, Thursday night.
Im exhausted after a big few days, with interrupted sleep patterns. Another late night by all accounts and with my gratitude and manifesting exercises still to do I’m looking at at least midnight or beyond.
Then, just about to jump into bed and I get this surge of energy…I had to do the housework.
I’m sure you have been there too and I know I am not alone in this one fact: When creativity, passion or a massive impulse takes hold of you- you MUST take action on it!
I had no idea of what was about to happen. I thought- a clean house and a sleep in. (as you would, right?!)
But what I got was a massive download from the Universe. A powerful one. One I had to turn the computer back on for to record. One in which there was no waiting. A realisation that had to be written, heard and BE.
For many months, actually years now, the way in which my purpose will be fulfilled has eluded me. I knew there was something greater and I just kept putting one foot in front of the other on that path- you know, the one that comes, changes, twists, turns, deviates, always enlightens, always feeds the soul and always brings love? Yep, that path.
I know for sure I am here to enrich people’s lives in some way. I know for sure I am here to deliver a message. I know for sure I am here to bring people back to their heart, their spirit, their truth. I know this to be so true because this has been my path.
We always learn what we are here to teach and we always teach to the extent of what we learn.
My path has been deep, therefore my teachings will be deep and although I say that my purpose here is to enrich the lives of others- the truth of the matter is- I am here to enrich my life, the find my heart, my spirit and my truth. And by doing that, my light will allow others to see that about themselves too and step into their own truth. Just as my teachers have shown me the truth about myself.
Its a big responsibility- to my soul. A big task- for my spirit. A miracle every day- for my heart.
So as I was vacuuming late into the night, thoughts were going around in my head again about HOW I was too deliver this message of love that is channeled to me daily. I have to have a method. I must have a structure. I must have a model. Was I to be a coach? Was I to be called something in particular? What precise niche was I to be in? Who was my audience?……then it hit me…
I have to stop with all the ‘should do’s’ that have been drilled into me! Oh My Goodness! I could be anything I wanted!
I AM anything I CHOOSE.
Who says I have to fit into a ‘model’? Who says I have to do things according to a ‘process’. Who says I have to BE the shadow or likeness of someone else?
And by the way…the only one holding me from this truth was myself. My ‘beliefs’ of how I ‘should’ be. Of how I had to be doing things. Just MY out dated beliefs.
Whatever is working for others- is working for others. (or not, in some cases although there is no failure, just more of the ‘I now know what I don’t want’)
Authenticity. Vulnerability. These are big words for me. The truth about me. Yet I am only being that little piece of vulnerable. The edge of the authentic me.
So heres the message I got.
I am a purveyor of Love.
Thats it! Thats who I am! My essence!
Purveyor: spreader, teller, source, transmitter, bringer, whisperer
Chills as I write it. A few tears flowing. Its like….its all so clear to me.
Now, this doesn’t have to be structured in any way except that which feel right for me. The lightest feeling. The AUTHENTIC way. The VULNERABLE way.
Do what I love. Show people how magnificent they are. Lift them to the light. Open their hearts. Let them know they are perfect and everything will be ok. And this needs to be done in alignment with my flow. What feels right. What feels good.
And here is the message I need to relay to you.
You must do things your way too.
Whatever you are doing that is feeling heavy or a struggle…is not your way.
Anything that feels out of alignment- is not your way.
Any thought that feels like hard work- is not your thought.
Any ‘dis – ease’ you feel, anywhere, body mind or spirit- means you are not in flow with your truth.
I hope this makes sense to you at this time. You need to be your own LABEL. Not that of someone else.
And the only way to know, and to feel the alignment is to focus on this moment. To choose how you want to feel. Love or fear. Then…theres the next moment- what do you wish to feel? Love or fear?
Question…question…question. IS this ME or someone else saying/thinking/acting/Being this way?
Here is an exercise you can do to really get clear on what it is you love doing in your life right now.
Grab a blank piece of paper. At the top of it, write the heading: (your name)…I Love You because…
I then want you to list 100 answers.
It can be a challenge when you first begin but once you stop the thoughts of ‘what I should be writing’ or all the typical answers that are easy to come up with, you will end up ion a deeper place in your heart. A place where your truth will be singing to you. That is when the real love of who you are will come forth. That is when you will see how magnificent you are and wow! There are so many things to love about you!
Do this often and eventually you will do it in your head all the time.
Here’s an important truth:
Until you can love yourself, who you are, everything about you, your life will be dictated to by others.
This is not who you are.
You are the creator of your own life and experience here in this lifetime and THAT all starts with trust in YOU, self love and acceptance and alignment with your authenticity and truth.
On this Valentines Day…give the biggest and most wonderful gift of Love to yourself. You SO deserve it.
ps. Being out of alignment can feel so heavy at times that it may seem you are not worthy of the life you desire. If you want to change this, like I have done, reach out. You deserve the life of your dreams. LETS TALK- www.trishrock.com/lets-talk