“Many people spend their whole lives searching for fulfillment and happiness, often expecting to find it in the purchase of a beautiful house, a luxury car, or other material possessions. When their satisfaction with these wears off, they look for other things to fill the emptiness: they change jobs, go on expensive vacations, or find a new life partner. Yet, as Santiago in The Alchemist discovers, the greatest treasure, your true source of happiness and fulfillment, is inside you, within your heart”.
Words from the book: The Power Of Your Heart by Baptist De Pape
Truer words I have never heard. This was exactly how I was living life. Expecting OUTSIDE things and people to bring happiness and love to me on a daily basis. And then, when I felt unloved and unhappy, blame was my tool to inflict fear and anger away from myself, and onto those around me (that truly did love me!).
Eventually I remembered who I was.
And this is who you are too.
We can only feel and see Love in the external once we know it of ourselves. Once we recognise it as our true essence.
Self Love has often been seen as selfish, as putting ourselves before the needs of others, of thinking more about ourselves than others. But how can we truly give the best of ourselves to others when we do not Love ourselves first? Surely it is a disservice to the ones that we love to not show up fully for them? To be the best human we can be? To be our true essence? To BE Love?
Where do we start on this road to self love?
Depending on the level of love and respect we hold for ourselves right now in this moment, we will all feel different comfort levels moving forward to self love.
Here are 10 suggestions to get started. Some will feel easy and comfortable for you, some wont. My belief is that the uncomfortable ones will be the most important to do as they will be the ‘breakthrough’ actions to undo some long held blocks and beliefs you may be holding.
10 Ways To Love Yourself More
1. Take a long bath
As busy humans, we often put everyone else first. How many times have you come home and thought – I would LOVE a soak in the bath!
Next time you have that thought- DO IT. Take the time to nurture yourself. Schedule it in if you have to. Let your family know that you are having 30 minutes of undisturbed time and then you are available for whatever they need you for.
Light candles (the LOVE candles from the Chakra candle range would be perfect), have your favourite music playing, know that you are SO worthy of this time for YOU!
2. Look in the mirror each morning and say- I love you!
This is a tough one for many. I found that in the beginning, I could say’I Love You’ but not my name, and I would look away very quickly, and not really mean it. But with daily practice and focus, it became easy.
This exercise is powerful and when you can truly look yourself in the eye and mean it when you say – ‘I Love you, (your name)’ – then you will be really amazed at the peace inside yourself.
3. Its ok to say no
How often do we say yes to something when what we really want to say is no!
Saying no is not selfish, mean or inconsiderate. In fact, by saying yes too often we are being mean and inconsiderate to ourselves!
If you decline a request, offer or invitation, do so with truth and sincerity. The person/people will appreciate you for it.
4. Treat yourself once a week
How often do you treat yourself to something/with something you enjoy?
As a woman I know this can be challenging especially once children are involved. Treating ourselves, especially when it means outlaying money that could be going towards something for the children is tough. But, it is all mindset.
We show others, including our children, how we deserve to be treated. If you are denying yourself the occasional or regular treat that makes you happy and joyful, then others will also see that as a sign that they do not have to treat you to anything special either.
5. Go to bed early and read a book
Loving yourself takes many forms and to take time out for yourself also comes in many forms.
Once a week, or more, just forget about the zillion things you have to do and just go to bed early to read, meditate, listen to your favourite audios/music. BEing for a while will actually help you get through the TO DO’s the next day.
6. Tell your partner what you like
If you are in a relationship it is really important to be vocal about what you like and dont like. Too often, men and women will feel insecure about expressing their needs in case the other rejects them or criticizes them or worse…laughs at them.
Here’s the thing though, if you can truly love yourself enough to express your needs, then your partner will also feel more secure and express their needs. This will enhance the Love you have for each other AND the Love you have for yourself, knowing you are living from that place of Love inside yourself and are expressing it fully.
7. Gratitude daily
Being grateful for all we have and are right now fills the soul with Love.
Start a gratitude journal and once a day (morning or night) write at least 5 things you are grateful for.
I start mine with the sentence: I am so happy and thankful now that…
I will either write in things I am grateful for that are reality OR things that I am manifesting (and I write them in the present tense)
8. Eat well
Feeding our bodies well is Loving ourselves.
What we put into our bodies (and minds) is a great gauge as to the level of Love we have for ourselves. Be conscious of it.
9. I Am That, I Am
To truly know the Love that we are, feeling connected to all there is is important. Often while I’m daydreaming, I’ll be looking at nature and reveling in the beauty and perfection of is. I know the beauty and perfection is also in me and the Love within myself grows.
Neale Donald Walsch, author of the Conversations With God series, once said that he wanted to identify himself with everything, as we are all connected, so he walked around all day, and to everyone he saw, and everything he saw, he said these words:
I am that, I am
I have also done this on occasion and it is a fabulous way to feel the connection to all. We are all Love energy and are all a part of the One, or the Whole. This exercise will open your mind and heart to the connection. Plus..its fun to do!
I prescribe at least 10 times daily!
If you have others around you, hug them too! If you are by yourself, double the self hugs!
Hugging makes us feel warm, secure and Loved. Whether you are hugging yourself or another, Love will be flowing. Start now!
Try these 10 ways and see what changes you feel inside yourself. These changes will begin to appear on the outside too so if you notice more love coming from others…then I can guarantee you are totally loving yourself more!
Start with the ones you feel comfortable with and make a promise to yourself (also Loving yourself!) to do the uncomfortable ones too.
If you are looking for more ways to truly be ‘In Love’ with YOU then check out the FREE ecourse on offer at An Energy Romance. I created this 8 day course with tools and tips that have worked for me to bring my heart back to Love.