Finding Peace in Self Sabotage Patterns

Self-sabotage is a common problem that many people experience at some point in their lives. It occurs when we unconsciously engage in behaviours or thoughts that undermine our goals and desires. Self-sabotage can be insidious and destructive, and it can prevent us from achieving our full potential.

When clients are expanding through my 5 step ‘The PEACE Process: Tools To Align & Prosper’ we look at these patterns and become aware of what is happening. In Step 3 of the process, self-realisation vs self-sabotage awareness makes it very clear where these patterns are, when and how they occur and how to keep them at bay as you move to your next step in life.

Here are three ways that you might be in self-sabotage, and some possible solutions to help move forward.

Negative self-talk

Negative self-talk is one of the most common forms of self-sabotage. It involves the constant stream of critical, self-defeating thoughts that we direct towards ourselves. This can take many forms, from simple self-doubt to outright self-hatred. Negative self-talk can lead to anxiety, depression, and a general sense of low self-worth. It can also prevent us from taking risks, pursuing our dreams, and achieving our goals.

Solution: Identify the negative thoughts and words you regularly have about yourself. Write them down. The awareness alone will be eye opening! You can also seek support from a therapist or trusted friend who can help you reframe your negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones.


Procrastination is another form of self-sabotage. It occurs when we put off important tasks or activities, often until the last minute. Procrastination can be a response to fear, anxiety, or a lack of motivation. It can lead to missed deadlines, poor performance, and a sense of disappointment in ourselves.

Solution: Create a realistic schedule and stick to it. Break large tasks down into smaller, more manageable ones. Identify the root cause of your procrastination and address it directly. For example, if you are anxious about a particular task, try breaking it down into smaller, more manageable steps. If you lack motivation, try setting up a reward system for completing tasks or finding a sense of purpose in what you’re doing.


People-pleasing is a form of self-sabotage that involves putting the needs and wants of others before our own. It can stem from a fear of rejection or a desire to be liked by everyone. People-pleasing can lead to a lack of boundaries, a sense of resentment, and a loss of self-esteem.

Solution: Set healthy boundaries and learn to say “no” when necessary. Prioritize your own needs and wants and communicate them clearly to others. Practice self-care and take time for yourself regularly. Build your self-esteem and self-confidence through positive self-talk and affirmations. Seek support from a therapist or a support group if necessary.

In conclusion, self-sabotage can be a significant barrier to achieving our goals and living a fulfilling life. By understanding the ways in which we self-sabotage, we can take steps to overcome it and move forward with more ease. Whether it’s challenging negative self-talk, addressing procrastination, or setting healthy boundaries, there are solutions that can help you overcome self-sabotage and achieve your full potential.

I help people daily with this and in my proprietary process- The PEACE Process: Tools To Align & Prosper – Step 3 is : Allowing Self-Actualisation vs Self Sabotage and we really deep dive into how this may show up for you and how to solve it.

If you are ready for change, reach out. I am here to help.