5 Tips To Gain More Self-Confidence
Having self-confidence and self-esteem can be one of the greatest things in the world. However, if you don’t have high self-esteem, you may find that you’re struggling in areas like social life and work life.
Low self esteem and lack of confidence will mean you are constantly looking for validation from external sources. Seeking validation of this type leads to even lower self esteem and self love when the validation you are expecting or wanting does not arrive.
The magic here is that if you can VALIDATE YOURSELF first, then you wont NEED it from others and the energy will shift in your favour and you WILL receive a lot of validation! (but you wont be requiring it to feel good about yourself)
Great self esteem leads to more confidence and being able to say- “yes, I am ok with who I am” – will go a long way to freedom in everyday life.
Here are five tips for you to gain more self-esteem and self-confidence.
- Take a Self-Esteem Inventory
For many people self-esteem is an elusive quality. But often self-esteem issues can be narrowed down. Take a self-esteem inventory.
These inventories help you identify areas in your life where you feel you are struggling or have a weakness. They will also identify where your strengths are.
Take a piece of paper and run a line down the middle.
On the top of the left column write- things I like about myself/am good at. On the right side at the top write-Things I don’t like about myself/that I am not good at.
Write at least 10 in each column.
Celebrate the left column!
Begin to work through the right column and shift your perceptions on those things you believe about yourself. Are they really true?
- Change the Story
Often low self-esteem results from poor self-perceptions and negative self-talk. Psychology Today recommends that you change the narrative in your head in order to change the self-esteem that results from negative self-talk.
Sometimes changing the narrative in your head takes practice. You may catch yourself saying things like “I’m stupid” or “I wish I wasn’t lazy.” Changing your story means changing the thoughts and breaking these habits. Next time you catch yourself saying things like, ”I’m stupid” you need to identify why you feel that way and change your thoughts to reflect the actual situation.
If catching yourself in the moment is unsuccessful, positive affirmations may be helpful. Positive affirmations are things that you say about yourself every day. These things need to be positive and self-fulfilling. If you are constantly telling yourself you’re stupid, a positive affirmation to combat that would be to tell yourself you are smart, 10 times every day.
- Take a Timeout
If you get caught up in a whirlwind of negative self talk, the best thing to do is take a timeout. The Mayo Clinic recommends that you take a few steps back from your thoughts and write them down in an unusual way, like with your non dominant hand. These exercises allow you to analyze your thoughts and observe them without automatically believing them. Next time you are stuck feeling low try writing your thoughts down with your left hand to see how it allows you to analyze your way of thinking.
- Gratitude Diary
When you are struggling with low self-esteem, positive affirmations may not be enough. One step further from a positive affirmation is a gratitude diary. A gratitude diary could begin to help you break the habit of negative self-talk.
In a gratitude diary you will sit down every evening to write three things that you appreciate about yourself. When you begin your gratitude diary your appreciative qualities may be hard to find. But as you practice, it will become easier. Make the statements gratitude sentiments about yourself. This will help change your need for external validation
- Outside Influences
Not everything about self-esteem has to do with internal dialogue. Mind.org notes that there are many external elements that can affect your self-esteem. Identifying the external elements that are affecting your low self-esteem and changing them when possible is a great way to gain self-esteem. Think about your daily situations and the areas of your life causing the most stress or low self-esteem. Brainstorm ways to change those circumstances and see how that affects your emotional health.
If you’re not sure what external sources may cause you to have low self-esteem or confidence, make a brain storm bubble map. Write down your negative feelings and link any actions or activities associated with them. Once you have these activities associated with your negative emotions you can link them to people or circumstances that you can change.
Trying these five tips to improve your self-esteem will allow you to be more confident in your ability to manage your internal dialogue and emotions. Allowing yourself to take control over your thoughts and emotions enables you to feel better about your circumstances and situations. This will lead to better self-esteem and overall confidence in your ability to manage what life has to throw at you.
Your self love and self validation will improve with greater self esteem.
Basically though, if you truly are OK with who you are, here, now, then you will not feel the need for validation from anyone and life will turn around in miraculous ways for you.