How I transformed an old belief of rejection
‘ I don’t want the responsibility of you’ he said.
There it was. The final devastating blow to my heart after many months (and to be honest, years) of this on/off relationship with what I thought was a twin flame/soul mate match that SHOULD have lasted and been perfect!
In my mind I was obviously not good enough to be granted or given any ‘Ive got your back’ privileges or gestures and I had been discarded.
There was however an ‘I love you Trish’ before this striking blow but this was more of a ‘tick that off the bucket list’ kind of thing for him. Still, felt nice after waiting all that time for it!
I never really understood the significance of this moment until today.
Over the past 14 days I have been doing a lot of transformational work within myself and a stack of perception turnarounds.
I am pretty good at these. They have been my greatest gift and how I serve others. Doing my own sometimes takes a little bit longer for me to actually ‘get’ it but I also understand that we are all in perfect alignment with this exact moment in our existence so to expect this turnaround and enlightened thought anytime before now would have been crazy.
It has been a long 4 years attempting to get this relationship out of my energy, my mind, my thoughts on a daily basis. No, Im not hung up on it anymore or in tears but there was still just something, a niggle about something, that needed further feeling into to so that I could move on and enjoy a new relationship. One that I am currently blocking energetically with my ‘lingering’.
Clarity came like a lightning bolt today.
I have been over this before and have even said it out load a few times in the past but today, the words were planted in my mind like an obvious next step, a clear as day thought, a transformational quantum leap.
I don’t want the responsibility of you.
I used to think it was about money because at the time I was still growing my business and was not financially stable. He did not want to look after me financially or emotionally.
But thats not it at all. On his part it was most likely true but it truly was a message for me and in a totally different meaning than money or emotions.
I don’t want the responsibility of you.
Its me! I don’t want the responsibility of myself!
It all made perfect sense in that instant! Like a cone of ‘perception blindness’ was suddenly lifted and I could see perfectly this old perception I have been carrying for what now seems like forever!
I thought back to other times in my life.
Yes- Mum took responsibility for me when I didnt want to do my homework and even that time I volunteered to make all the costumes for the school play (I was a sewer back then!) and then got bored and she stayed up for a long night (or more?) of finishing these costumes for me!
Yes- when the kids were out in the world and I didn’t have to be responsible for anyone except myself and chose not to take on any responsibility!
Yes- both my marriages broke down when I felt I had to start taking responsibility of myself and life
And so many other things coming to Light.
This is so powerful and for me, a life changing moment.
I feel the excitement for me just as much as when this happens for my clients and I can see their eyes light up with the enlightened thoughts!
So, where did it start?
In a way it doesn’t matter. I have turned it around now and can move on from it. I can also move away from the residual of the relationship.
I understand more fully now the concept of everyone being our teacher.
I feel all relationships are soul connections as we connect to teach or learn from the other. It all happens from a more expansive place than our human small mindedness.
So, what do YOU need to turnaround right now?
What thought, word, statement, scene, vision, inner message came to you today?
Your awareness of these thoughts will help you unravel the illusion that keeps you in suffering and rather than looking for the next layer of this thing and only clearing a small scraping of it, you have the opportunity and the ability to actually turn the perception completely around and never have to deal with it in that way again.
Isnt that wonderful news!
So what is it for you today? If it came into your awareness you are ready to shift it.
Isnt it time you moved on to peace and ended the emotional and mental suffering over it?
You have the ability to do this.
For me, another level of freedom today.
I now take responsibility for myself with absolute love, excitement and joy.
Love and Blessings
I have created a beautiful Ho’Oponopono Meditation to help with forgiveness and letting go. Let me know how it feels for you!