How do we go from consistently living in the victim mindset to living from an empowered internal state?
Listen to the audio here:
The first obstacle here is the victim state! Often it is not something easily admitted or accepted.
I experienced this state of being for a very long time. Possibly from childhood. Actually, definitely from childhood! The thing is, I didn’t know, and then, when I did know, I didn’t accept or believe it. I became the victim again by saying how horrid those people were for calling me out on my victim mindset! How dare they! I was not a victim!
Well, thankfully the amazing people around me over the past few years have kept calling me on it and finally I got it, I understood, I accepted it. I now live from a more empowered state but it is always a moment by moment feeling, and a choice I now make.
It’s a choice everyone can make too, but the first step is to determine where you are at right now, and if it is true that you are falling into the victim mindset, then accept it and go from there. Nothing will change until we can accept where we are right now, and be ok with it. And by OK…I mean not in denial, blame or shame. Just acceptance.
So, where does self enquiry come into this picture?
Asking the right questions will either empower us or victimize us.
Asking the better questions will free us of the old patterns and behaviours.
Asking the real questions will lead us to the truth, of the situation, of others, of ourselves.
Lets look at that further…
These are the types of questions I used to ask when things were not working out the way I wanted, or if I was feeling any of the lower vibrational energies such as sadness, anger, frustration, disappointment, depression, hopelessness etc.
I would ask:
- Why is this not working out for me?
- Why are people (or person’s name) doing this to me?
- What is wrong with me that I cant do this?
- What have I done to deserve this bad luck?
And then of course there were all the other statements such as:
- Im just not good enough
- Im just not talented enough
- Im too lazy, that’s why I am failing,
- I don’t have what it takes to be like that person
Of course, as you can see, or hear if you are listening via the podcast, these are victim mindset, whiney and complaining statements that really will never solve any of the issues they were addressing. They were just keeping me in blame, in victim, unempowered.
Is this you too?
After being like this for so long I knew it would take a while to break old nasty habits and still, every day, I keep a check on the words I use and the questions I ask of myself and others. Im certainly never perfect at it and as I have said, it’s a moment to moment choice and awareness.
Changing the questions is the key.
These days, the questions, would sound and look more like this:
- HOW can I change this.
- I AM good enough so what can I change here for a better result?
- Why am I feeling this way and how can I change or improve it?
- What has this person come to show or teach me in this situation when I am feeling this way?
These are more empowering questions. They are not blaming anyone for the way I feel. They are not questions or statements that bring me down in anyway. They do not involve shame, or guilt, or anger.
Rather than shrinking and not taking responsibility for everything in my life, these questions, and this stronger mindset, empowers and strengthens.
There is a brilliant lady, and one of my mentors, called Byron Katie who created The Work, which consists of 4 questions, lead by the question: Is this true?
Who would you be without your story?
The Work of Byron Katie is a way of identifying and questioning the thoughts that cause all the anger, fear, depression, addiction, and violence in the world. Experience the happiness of undoing those thoughts through The Work, and allow your mind to return to its true, awakened, peaceful, creative nature.
Look Byron Katie up on Google at www.thework.com . Read and learn more about this tool and the way it empowers you.
This is self enquiry. Getting to the actual truth behind why we feel the way we do, rather than staying in blame or feeling like a victim of the world.
This self empowerment has the energy to change everything about your life, if you choose.
So what will you do today to change the way you see things? To change the way you react to what others may say or do? To feel more empowered in every situation simply by asking yourself and others better questions?
Have fun with this and know that you have the power within, you have the answers inside already…if you would only trust it.